But I don’t understand! I don’t understand how this all happens - how we go through this. I mean, I knew her, and then she’s — there’s just a body, and I don’t understand why she just can’t get back in it and not be dead anymore! It’s stupid! It’s mortal and stupid! And Xander’s crying and not talking, and, and I was having fruit punch, and I thought, “Well Joyce will never have any more fruit punch, ever…and she’ll never have eggs, or yawn or brush her hair, not ever.” And no one will explain to me why!
I can’t even describe to you how much everything from this episode has really resonated and been with me recently. Before my dad passed away on the 1st of this month, I thought I had accepted his fate. We all knew it was coming 17 months ago. But recently I find myself going through exactly what Anya says up there. I don’t understand how it all happens and no one will explain it to me.